Procrastination doodles.

9:25 PM

Too many cups of coffee and not enough productive sit down time with my computer.

Today I did absolutely nothing, and I'm kind of mad at myself for it. No one was home and I had the house to myself, so I watched Netflix. I should have spent that peaceful time writing, but of course I didn’t. I haven’t been able to sit down and write anything for a while, even though I swear I’ve been trying. I really have been. I end up staring at an empty document for an hour before becoming too frustrated at myself. I spent the last week in West Virginia, and It was okay. I got to visit family and a few friends. I’m stuck in a point where I want to just pick up and do something with my life but I’m finding it extremely hard because everything seems out of order and messy. Perpetual stuck-ness is how I explain it. That’s what it feels like anyway. That I’m stuck in one place and even though I see multiple doors to exit out of I just sit around and drink tea and doodle mindlessly. It is so unbelievably frustrating. Like, you don’t even know. I have so much stuff to get done before I can even think about starting my life. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about sentences and structure. It is difficult for me to form my incoherent thoughts into a coherent sentence. I’m doing it right now. I’m not explaining this correctly. I feel like I can’t put my thoughts into words and it’s hard to explain how I’m thinking or feeling.

My brain feels kind of fuzzy because when I don’t form coherent sentences from the thoughts in my head they stay there and beg to be let out. It’s like……. God I wish there was a better way to explain how constant it is. Like my brain is constantly moving. Rotating a new thought. Recycling an old one. It is a constant cycle.

But I lied, something book related did happen today. I developed a new character. And that was pretty cool.

Here is tonight’s doodles: