One of my best friends moved in with me, and we had plans to get jobs and motivate each other. But obviously things don't always work out that way. We've been watching netflix and sitting in my room. Chain smoking cigarettes and listening to music. It sounds all great and dandy but I'm feeling antsy. I haven't written, I haven't painted, I rarely do anything. I've stopped doing all of the things I used to do. I mean, yeah, those things I used to do weren't very productive either. But still. I need to get up and do something. I need a job. Because I want to be able to be out of my parents house by January. I'm actually hoping that is going to happen. Hopefully I can go to Texas and visit for thanksgiving. I feel like I have been secluded to this house for too god damn long. Short drives to the gas station don't do it for me anymore. I used to hate the constant road trips to West Virginia but now I actually kind of miss them. No, I really do miss them. I'm trying to think of the last time I visited there and I honestly can't remember. I don't want to be in West Virginia though, I just want to BE somewhere. I want a job so that when I run out of watercolor paper I don't have to wait to get it. I can just run to the store and get some. I want more art utensils and journals and things of the sort but god, I can barely get myself motivated enough to make another pot of coffee.
Honestly I feel stuck and don't know what to do about it anymore.
But on Monday my dad gave me a "job."
I have to completely clean out my basement full of boxes and clothes and shit. He's going to pay me. So hopefully doing that will get me out of this rut. I suppose.
I'm going to get a tattoo with some of the money.

Anyway. I'm glad my friend lives with me. I feel better not being alone. I'm going to try to do some real writing now.
Hopefully my busy thoughts slow down for a little bit so that I can get some peaceful writing time in.